Inkerman Writers
a showcase of our work
Characters and situations
I'm new to the Inkerman group and, although I've been writing non-fiction for ten years, also new to fiction. This is my first attempt and I've been playing around with some characters and situations to see whether they would work or not. If no one has any objections I'd like to post a couple on the blog and get members reactions as to whether they float or not. The background for the first one is that Justin is an Old Etonian who converts to radical Islam. Anyway have a look and let me know what you think.
However, to the sexually inadequate Justin it was the thought of the seventy-eight virgins in the afterlife that swung it for him. On good nights he’d lay awake thinking of them. On bad nights he’d lay awake shaking and worried that they would all be like his Great Aunt Lettice.
Eighty-seven years old, and according to family tradition never been kissed, Lettice was still very much game for her first experience. For years she had been embarrassing her relatives at the various family occasions that littered upper crust life by sexually accosting his brothers and cousins and on one notable occasion his second cousin Alice. Although to be fair to Lettice, Alice was wearing dungarees, had just come out of the billiards room and had a square of chalk behind her left ear.
At one ball she’d even managed to pin him into a corner of the room whilst whispering into his ear “I’ve got no underwear on” before adding in a very much louder voice “but you’ll have to take me from behind dear as I can’t really let go of the Zimmer frame”. It was only as an after thought and in an even louder voice that she’d said “and do it roughly”.
It had taken him five attempts to safely make his escape. Even then it had been with the assistance of his third cousin Athelstan who had carefully nudged her Zimmer frame so that Lettice faced the wall.
Views: 49
Comment
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Comment by Alwyn Foden on October 30, 2016 at 9:51am
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See quote on my page about failing - 2013. Kept me going through the same phase. Still haven't made it to the other side - but what the heck.
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Comment by John Dean on October 27, 2016 at 7:10am
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Hi Start with the Wilt series - very funny
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Comment by Keven Shevels on October 26, 2016 at 7:17pm -
Never read any of Tom Sharpe. I might have to give it a go.
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Sounds like there is plenty of humour to mine here, Kevin. It is an unusual set up reminiscent of Tom Sharpe
About
DfC
The Inkerman Writers are members of Darlington for Culture (DfC), which was set up in 2010 to help save Darlington Arts Centre from closure.
Its members include representatives of arts and community groups.
DfC was established after the centre’s owner, Darlington Borough Council, announced that budget cuts meant that it would have to withdraw its subsidy from the Arts Centre.
Although the centre closed, the organisation remains active - more at www.darlingtonforculture.org
Publications
Welcome to the site created by the Inkerman Writers to showcase our work.
Based in Darlington, North East England, and having celebrated their tenth anniversary in 2013, members have enjoyed success in a variety of arenas, including winning, and being shortlisted and highly commended, in short story competitions, having novels published and publishing the short story anthology A Strawberry in Winter, which can be obtained by visiting the website www.blurb.com
The group's second anthology of short stories, Christophe's Farewell and Other Stories, can be obtained, cost £4.95 plus postage and packing, from
The Inkerman Writers’ latest book, Out of the Shadows, which was launched as part of the 2013 Darlington Arts Festival, is on sale. The book can be ordered direct from
http://www.blurb.co.uk/b/4204019-out-of-the-shadows
The group also produced The Last Waltz, a double CD of short stories, available by contacting deangriss@btinternet.com, cost £5 plus p and p.
Several of our writers wrote original one-act plays in a collaboration with the Green Theatre company, which were performed at Darlington Arts Centre early in February, 2012.
Darlington-based Inkerman Writers have produced their latest anthology of short stories, Inkerman Street, based on the demolition of a fictional northern street and the stories of the people who lived in it.
The book, which features a variety of stories ranging from horror to comedy, was launched to a large audience at the Darlington Arts Festival Literary Day on Saturday May 26 and begins like this:
“Inkerman Street is still and graveyard-hushed tonight, the terraced houses cold behind boarded-up windows, silent sentinels among a sea of wasteland. No one lives here now and tomorrow the bulldozers will move in to flatten the houses to make way for the Council’s Grand Plan.
“Although the people are long gone, the houses still have life. Peek into one of the bedrooms and see on the wall a painting of a seaside scene, brightly-coloured boats bobbing in the harbour, fishermen pipe-smoking in the noonday sun and seagulls wheeling high above the choppy waters. In the roaring silence of the night, you can hear the screeching of the birds and taste the salt air, acrid and herring-sharp at the back of your throat. It is an illusion; the bedroom is empty and the blooms on the faded wallpaper have long since wilted.
“The air in the houses is musty with neglect yet but a few months before, these were bustling homes filled with frying bacon and steaming irons, whistling kettles and playing children. The houses witnessed all these scenes for more than 150 years. Behind their curtains were enacted a thousand stories but tomorrow they will be destroyed because Inkerman Street is the last of its ilk.
“Now, on the eve of the street’s death, the people who once lived here have returned, gathering solemn and silent in the mist, the ghosts of the past come to pay final tribute….”
The anthology can be purchased at http://www.blurb.co.uk/bookstore/invited/7524452/bae89c993c98ec8c8b37b12d6b9b37ecced5dec3
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