Lunardium
Chapter 1
A sudden gust of wind sent sand scurrying along the pavement, until it came up against the sea wall where it settled in small wavelets. The sand stung the young girl’s eyes and some found its way into her mouth. Biddy Perkins turned her back to the wind, spat out the annoying grit, and wiped her mouth on the back of her sleeve.
Biddy just happened to have stopped outside her favourite shop, ‘Gifts and Goodies’. Buckets and spades had been attached to wooden poles that hung on either side of the door. They rattled, eerily, in the wind and sent a shiver down her spine.
The grit had made her eyes water. Biddy looked at her reflection in the window. The green-blue of her eyes sparkled back at her. As usual her unruly ginger hair looked as though it hadn’t seen a comb for days. She believed that she must have inherited the colour from her dad father because her mum was blond. Biddy didn’t know for sure, because no one spoke of her dad. He had ‘vanished into thin air’ the day before she was born. She had never even seen a photograph of him.
Mrs Perkins, her mother, worked full time as a teaching assistant. To help pay the bills, she also worked three evenings a week stacking shelves in the local supermarket.
Tonight was one of those evenings and Biddy had been told to be home by five at the latest. It was already half past four. She often wondered if her life might have been different if her dad hadn’t ‘disappeared’.
The buckets and spades rattled in the wind and jolted her into action. Although the shop seemed empty, when she opened the door, the ping of a bell must have alerted someone to her presence. Biddy found herself standing in-between two counters. One side was full of sweets. A notice claimed that the shelves contained selections of every confectionary ever made. The other counter showed off a wide range of very expensive presents. The shopkeeper boasted that he had something for every occasion and every age. It was however, the display at the back of the shop that grabbed Biddy’s attention.
Layer upon layer of shelves were filled with toys, from yoyos to Xbox, from dolls to cars and go-carts. You name it and this shop had it. An old man appeared from nowhere.
‘Can I help you miss,’ he said.
‘I’m just looking,’ she said.
As soon as the shopkeeper realised she wasn’t going to buy anything, his manner towards her changed and he shooed her out of the door, saying.
‘Bloody little thief’
Biddy pulled up the hood of her parka and was about to set off for home when she noticed a small opening next to Gifts and Goodies. She frequently passed this way, but had never noticed an alleyway there before. He aunt had told her, she inherited her sense of adventure from her dad. Sadly, this sense of adventure nearly always got her into trouble. She hesitated for only a moment, before stepping into the gloom of the alleyway.
It was quiet out of the wind, eerily quiet. The air felt warmer and her stomach fluttered with a familiar sense of excitement as she set off along the path.
By the time she reached halfway, she could hear the sound of muffled voices coming from up ahead. Light spilled from the open doorway. Biddy stopped to glance over her shoulder, but could no longer see the entrance. She sighed. There was no turning back. A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine as the voices grew louder.
Biddy peered through the doorway into the large amusement arcade. She wasn’t supposed to go into such places, but decided there would be no harm in having a look. After all, she didn’t have any money to lose. In the middle of the room, a group of old ladies sat on benches round a circular table. Their attention was focused on a young boy in the middle. Hands on knees, his eyes were fixed on a glass box. It was full of numbered balls that spun and dived in a current of air. Suddenly one of the balls exploded from the end of the tube sticking out of the top of the machine. The boy dived to one side to catch it.
He held the ball in the air and shouted ‘Three and eight thirty-eight.’ He hadn’t even time to drop the ball into the tray, before another shot from of the end of the tube. This time he had to dive to the floor to catch it.
‘All the two’s twenty-two.’ Sweat dribbled down his forehead. Two women shouted ‘house’ together. They began to argue and handbags flew through the air. The boy sank onto his knees. A ball shot passed his ear. This time he ignored it.
Biddy had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. She turned her back on the fight and crossed over to where another boy was playing at a pin-ball machine. He pulled out the plunger and let it go with a clatter. The steel ball shot round the table, bouncing off targets to earn him points. He punched the buttons on the side of the machine, which controlled the flippers that kept the ball in play. Lights flashed, bells rang, and buzzers buzzed as his score steadily rose. All seemed quite normal, but as Biddy watched, the machine began to protest.
‘Ooh - no - please don’t -,’ it shouted. The higher his score the louder the machine protested. Biddy stared wide-eyed.
‘Ouch, you’re hurting me.’ But the more the machine protested, the harder the boy played. Eventually it let out a blood-curdling scream, followed by an onslaught of insults. ‘Pack it in, you imbecile. Do you have frogspawn for brains –you, you – cretin - you – you - you halfwit - numskull.’
Biddy wondered if she should stop the boy, but decided it wasn’t any of her business. She left them and wandered further into the arcade until she came upon a one-armed man. With an eye-patch and stuffed parrot on his shoulder, he looked as though he’d come straight out of Pirates of the Caribbean film. His empty sleeve had been stuffed into the pocket of his jacket. In his good hand, he held a sharp looking cutlass. It had, something that looked a lot like blood, dripping from the end of the blade. Biddy approached, cautiously. The pirate stood to attention.
‘Pieces of eight - pieces of eight,’ he said through gritted, blackened teeth.
Biddy didn’t think much of his ventriloquist act. A notice above his head read. ‘One-Armed Bandit - Challenge at Your Peril.’ Only somebody had crossed out the word Bandit and replaced it with the word Pirate. She decided to give the ‘pirate’ a wide birth and made her way over to a policeman... A large, jovial looking man, he sat quietly in the corner of the room. Biddy was about to ask him about the pirate, and the pinball and the fighting old women, but just as she opened her mouth, he burst into tears. She asked him why he was crying.
‘Not a lot to laugh about these days,’ said the policeman.
His name badge introduced him as ‘Burt the Laughing Policeman. ’ Biddy tried to cheer him up, without success so decided it was time to head for home.
‘This place is mega weird,’ she muttered to herself as she made her way over to the exit. She noticed a man at the other end of the room waving to her. Even from that distance she could see that he was really tall. He was wearing a long flowing coat that was made up of flags of the world. A pair of enormous red, wooden clogs peeped out from underneath. It would only be a slight exaggeration to say that his neck was as long as a giraffe’s and he wore a tiny Union-Jack, bowler-hat, which perched on top of his long, black, wavy hair.
The man was leaning against a large, metal contraption that had a hooded screen and a handle to one side. A sign declared it to be a Mutoscope and someone had written ‘WHAT THE BUTLER SAW.’ in big black letters
The man gestured for her to hurry over and Biddy couldn’t resist. When she got there, he bowed so low that his head touched his knees. She thought his bowler-hat would fall off and was well impressed when it remained firmly in place. He straightened his back and then said, in a particularly bad Yorkshire accent.
‘Eee by gum, now here's a bonny lassie,’ he said
Biddy glanced behind to see if he was talking to someone else.
‘Aye, wee lassie,’ he said, now in a Scottish brogue. ‘I’m a talk'n to you.’ Biddy bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.
‘Mr A. T. Lass at your service,’ this was different, but Biddy couldn’t make out what dialect it was supposed to be. ‘Och the noo, ye’ll be a need’n a sixpence if you want to be seeing the wonders of the universe,’ he said reverting to Scottish again.
His accent continually changed as he spoke. At one point she thought it was Cornish (her mum had taken her to Cornwall on holiday once), but it could have been Irish. Fascinated, by the man and his machine, she searched through her school-bag for some money. Amongst books and other school paraphernalia, she found string, an elastic band, several crumpled tissues, which were contaminated with some rather unpleasant slimy, gunge and a piece of hardened chewing-gum. Eventually, in the inside pocket of her parka, she found a five pence piece.
‘Will this do?’ she said.
‘To be sure,’ Mr Lass said in a definite Irish accent. He removed the coin from her fingers and replaced it with a silver sixpence. He also gave her a mask, like the ones used by doctors and nurses and then he produced a wooden box for her to stand on. Even when she was on the box, the top of her head only reached his chest.
‘Do you mind if I ask you something, Mr Lass,’ she said, politely.
‘A.T, if you please.’
She dangled the mask by one of its ties. ‘What do I need this for?’ she asked.
‘Way aye hinnie,’ he said in Geordie. ‘You’ll be a need'n that,’ he finished in Scottish.
‘Right,’ she sighed. Plucking up the courage, she asked him why he kept changing his voice.
‘Because, I am a man of the world, my dear,’ he said, this time in a very posh English accent.
‘Cool,’ said Biddy and then after a moment, she added, ‘but if you’re a man of the world, why are you doing just British accents.’
‘Aye, well,’ he said reverting to Scottish, which seemed to be his favourite, ‘that’s because I have ’ne been very far yet.’
Biddy put the mask on to hide her smile and then she slipped the silver coin into the slot, leant over the glass covered panel and reached down to crank the handle. Images of the moon flickered onto the screen. She could hear somebody talking in the background, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. Biddy was about to ask A. T. to turn up the sound when she realised the tall man was getting even taller. She felt a strange tingling in her toes, which began to creep up her legs. It slithered over her stomach and by the time it reached her chest, Biddy felt decidedly dizzy. It was then she realised that Mr A. T. Lass was not growing, but she was shrinking.


Chapter 2

Biddy had been sucked into a vortex. It was full fine dust. At least she now knew what the mask had been for. The silvery-grey grit was even worse than the sand and she had to keep everything tightly shut to prevent it getting into her mouth and eyes. The vortex spun her body. She was twisted, bounced and bent her into shapes she never thought possible. One moment her head would be pulled so hard that she thought it would snap from her neck, the next minute squashed so tightly she thought her brains would burst from her skull. Every now and then, she performed a complete summersault. It got so, she no longer knew which way was up or down. Biddy felt decidedly sick.
After what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes, her body began to fall. Faster and faster until she could hardly breathe. Then, just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, her head popped out of the end of the tunnel, quickly followed by the rest of her body. She began to tumble through the air. Thoughts of her mum and of the dad she would now never know fleetingly passed through her brain. The ground came towards her at alarming speed. Then, just as she thought that her end had come, a branch seemed to appear from nowhere. She grabbed at the leaves and twigs. Although they slipped through her fingers, they managed to slow her progress until she landed, heavily, on the top of a large mound.
‘Ouch.’
Biddy lay, unmoving, for several minutes as tried to get her breath back. Eventually, she risked opening one eye and then the other. Not liking what she saw, she screwed her eyes back up.
‘Oh pl-ea-se somebody tell me I’m dreaming,’ she said out loud.
‘Did you do that,’ the boy’s voice sounded very cross.
Biddy coughed. She opened one eye and looked down at the boy. He appeared to be older, slightly taller than her, and very skinny.
‘Did you do that?’ he said again.
Biddy pushed herself into a sitting position, pulled off the mask, coughed out a load of dust and spit and then wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her parka. ‘Do what?’ she snapped.
‘If you did,’ said the boy. ‘You’re going to be in big trouble.’ He had the darkest blond hair she had ever seen and he was wearing the silliest pair of shorts. Deciding it was time to check if her arms and legs were still in working order, only when Biddy was completely satisfied she hadn’t broken anything, did she answer him.
‘Look bozo, I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about - and if you hadn’t noticed I’ve just fallen out of that dammed great hole. I could have been killed.’ She looked up, back at the boy and then up again. The hole had disappeared.
Biddy tried to take in her surroundings. Gone was the coastline of Coatham Dunes, it had been replaced by a small wood behind her. Farmland stretched out as far as she could see until it reached mountains that filled the skyline. What a skyline. She couldn’t see the sun because it wasn’t there. The sky was full of rainbows, bright shining rainbows.
‘This is not Coatham is it?’ she said.
‘What?’ the boy exclaimed.
‘Oh, pants.’ Biddy held onto her head in an attempt to stop it from aching.
‘Look,’ said the boy. ‘I don’t know how you did it, but I am responsible for this field and I want the moon-dust back - now.’ A huge gash stretched across the entire length of the field in question. It looked as though it had been hit by a tornado and the crop, whatever it was had been uprooted and lay across the devastated field.
‘Moon-dust,’ said Biddy, ‘you’ve got to be kidding me.’
‘I am not kidding,’ the boy said angrily. He climbed the mound and plonked himself down next to her, wrapping his arms around his knees. ‘Povey’s going to kill me when he finds out that half his Babbaco gone.’ The pair sat in shocked silence for several minutes. The boy spoke first.
‘I’m Nunkie,’ he said.
‘What sort of name’s that?’
‘My name,’ he snapped, ‘what’s yours?’
‘Biddy,' said Biddy.
Mimicking her voice, he said, ‘What sort of name’s Biddy?’
She gave him a look that said I don’t think that’s funny. ‘Anyway what with this babo whatever?’ she said
‘Don’t tell me you don’t know what Babbaco is?’ said Nunkie. He might have been cross with the strange looking girl, but he was grateful for someone to talk. When she said she really didn’t know what Babbaco was, he told her all about it and how he worked for a farmer called Povey. Povey, like most farmers, was worried about the loss of the moon dust that had been disappearing for some time. Nunkie had been hired to look after the crops and beasts. He told Biddy that before she fell in on him, he’d just caught a Galloupe and was about to take it into the woods to let it go when the dust was sucked up and then she fell from the sky.
Biddy didn’t know what on earth he was talking about. ‘Just stop - right there,’ she said. ‘Ok-ay, start with the Galloupe. What is it and what’s with this sky?’ She gazed at the rainbows.
Before giving his answer, Nunkie slid down the hill to retrieve a sack that he’d left by the edge of the field. On his return, he sat down and pulled a small, grey animal out of the bag, by two very long ears.
‘This is a Galloupe,’ he said, ‘and they eat babbaco.’
The creature looked like a cross between a rabbit and a kangaroo. ‘I’m supposed to kill them, but I’m not into hurting stuff. I usually take them into the wood and let them go,’ he said.
‘Oh, he is so cute,’ said Biddy. She stretched over and tickled the animal’s long ears. The Galloupe began to purr like a cat. A nut fell from the tree and landed beside her. Biddy looked up and although the leaves rustled as if something was there, she couldn’t make out what it was. She returned her attention to the ball of fluff. ‘How could anyone want to hurt such a cuddly bunny?’
‘They’re pretty tasty in a stew,’ he said jokingly.
Biddy stood up and kicked him, hard, on the shin. She took off her jacket, shook out the dust, and then spread it on the ground. Before sitting back down, she ruffled her hair to get rid of the fine silver-grey soil.
‘Wow,’ said Nunkie, staring at her hair.
Biddy looked down at him. ‘We’re not on earth, are we?’ she said.
‘Never heard of it,’ said Nunkie.
‘Oh, double pants.’

Chapter 3

Biddy knew the Americans had landed on the moon, but nobody had said anything about people living there and she’d never heard of a place called Lunardium. It could be a dream, but everything seemed too real. She sat down next to Nunkie and pressed him for answers, but he had no more of an idea about how she had got there than she did. More importantly, he couldn’t tell her how to get home.
An idea suddenly struck Biddy; she jumped up and skidded down the mound to retrieve her school-bag, from where it had fallen. Nunkie watched, in sulky silence, as she rummaged around inside her bag. She found what she was looking for and pulled out a small, solid item.
‘Gotcha,’ she said, with a smug satisfaction.
‘What’s that?’ asked Nunkie.
‘My mobile, stupid,’ said Biddy.
Nunkie shrugged and pulled a face. He had no idea what a mobile was, but he wasn’t going to let Biddy know that. He watched as she walked round in ever increasing circles, raising and lowering her hand. Nunkie reckoned the girl was even crazier than he first thought.
‘With a bit of luck, the signal will bounce off a satellite,’ she said. As time passed with no sign of a bar on the screen to indicate a signal, her efforts became more and more frantic. Her eyes never left the screen on the phone as she ran up and down the small hillock, but it didn’t matter how hard she tried, there was no connection. By the time she rejoined Nunkie; Biddy was out of breath. She sat down heavily, next to him. In hope, rather than expectation, she sent a text to her mum, before turning off the phone to save power. Biddy felt really fed up. She put the phone back into her bag and reached out for the Galloupe. A nut fell from the tree and hit her on the head. Biddy jumped, frightening the Galloupe, who then bit her on the finger.
‘Ouch,’ she shouted. She sucked her finger and rubbed her head where the nut had left a small bump. Nunkie carried on as though nothing had happened. Another nut bounced onto the ground next to her. She looked up into the tree just in time to see a creature disappearing.
‘There’s something up there.’
‘Yeah,’ said Nunkie, struggling with the Galloupe, who was making a bid for freedom.
‘It’s attacking me,’ said Biddy.
Nunkie looked up to the trees. ‘It’s only Pendek,’ he said.
‘Oh, this is all doing my head in,’ said Biddy.
‘He’s only doing it because he doesn’t know you,’ said Nunkie, who was having difficulties getting the Galloupe back into the sack. ‘He wants to see how you react.’
‘Get him to come here and I’ll show him how I react,’ said Biddy, crossly.
Nunkie whistled. Biddy peered into the darkness, expecting to see another boy. At first she couldn’t see anything, but then she noticed a hairy foot poking out from behind the nearest tree. It was closely followed by a hairy leg, then an arm and a pair of big brown, cheeky eyes and, last but not least, a rather plump furry body.
‘Biddy meet Pendek,’ said Nunkie, finally pushing the Galloupe’s head into the bag. ‘He’s an Agogwe.’
‘I’ll take your word for that,’ muttered Biddy. She shouted over to the small man-like creature, ‘Hi, Pendek.’ The Agogwe shook his long, rust-coloured woollen coat, which revealed his yellowish-red skin beneath. He smiled, turned, showed her his bottom, and then ran off into the wood.
Nunkie gave up on his efforts to return the Galloupe into the bag. He grabbed hold of it by the ears and stood. ‘We’d better get going,’ he said.
‘We?’ said Biddy. ’We, go where?’
‘I can’t stay here,’ he said.
‘Why not?’
Nunkie pointed to the ruined field. ‘Because Povey will never believe that I had nothing to do with that,’ he said, sliding down the slope. ‘Come on, we’ll have to get a move on if we want to get to there before the darkness.’
‘What darkness? – get where?’ said Biddy.
‘Oh, just follow me,’ he snapped.
Biddy picked up her bag and scrambled down after him. ‘What, what do you mean by ‘The Darkness’,’ she said.
Nunkie stopped and pointed to a cross in the sky. ‘When the bows have done their full circle, the light goes out.’ He spoke as if she were a small child. She asked him where the rainbows came from.
‘How should I know,’ said Nunkie, swinging the Galloupe by its ears. He added, after a moment’s thought. ‘I suppose the forebears did it.’
‘I know this might seem a silly question,’ said Biddy, ‘but who are the forebears?’
‘Don’t you know anything?’ said Nunkie. He was beginning to lose patience with her and strode off down the path. Biddy had to run to keep up with his pace. ‘The forebears set up the bows and everythin’,’ he said.
‘On earth, we had a big bang,’ said Biddy. She realised that it didn’t sound any more believable than having a sky full of rainbows.
They had reached the edge of the wood. Nunkie dropped the rabbit-like animal and nudged it on its way with his foot. He turned and set off in the opposite direction. ‘Come on, we have to hurry,’ he said. ‘Trust me; you don’t want to be out during the darkness’
‘Why?’
He stopped and turned to face her. ‘Do you ever stop asking questions?’ he said. Without waiting for an answer, Nunkie set off, at a quick pace, along the dirt path.
Biddy looked around for the Agogwe. ‘What about Pendek?’ she said to his back.
‘He’ll come when he’s ready,’ snapped Nunkie.
The journey, on the whole, was uneventful. In as much as any journey through a strange world, could be called uneventful. Biddy didn’t see any cars, trains, planes, motorways, tall buildings, not that many small buildings, for that matter. There were lots of fields, strange plants, weird beasts and an occasional stream that had weaved its way down from the distant mountains. All the roads were more like farm tracks, full of pot-holes and boulders. Every now and again they passed someone going in the opposite direction. Everyone was hurrying and everyone stared at her. It was obvious they hadn’t seen anyone with ginger hair before. She stood out like a Belisha-beacon
After about an hour of walking, her feet began to ache and Pendek kept creeping up on her, making her jump. To make matters worse, she had no idea of the time because the hands on her watch were actually going backwards. After Pendek had tripped her up for the umpteenth time, Biddy shouted to Nunkie. ‘Can’t you make him stop?’
‘He’ll stop when you stop reacting,’ said Nunkie. His shoelaces had come undone and he bent down to fasten them.
‘Fine,’ snapped Biddy. She had no idea of where she was going, but strode off down the road without him. A short while later she came upon a cow-like animal grazing at the side of the road. It looked up as she approached. The cow had huge, brown eyes with long curling lashes. Pleased to see something familiar for a change Biddy, could hear Nunkie shouting at her, but she ignored him.
‘It’s a Bon-na-con,’ he shouted.
‘It’s a cow,’ she muttered, rubbing the animal’s muzzle. It was soft and warm to the touch. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Pendek ran up and bounced onto the cows back. He grabbed hold of both ears and began to tug. Biddy took a step backward. The animal’s big brown eyes turned red and glowed. Its huge frame began to shake. She took another step backward. The agogwe giggled. He jumped off the cow’s back and then ran away. Biddy was about to join him when the cow turned and set off in the opposite direction. She sighed with relief.
‘Run,’ shouted Nunkie, catching up to her. By now the Bonnacon had put some distance between them and Biddy couldn’t see what the fuss was about. The animal stopped and stood motionless with its back to them.
‘Duck,’ shouted Nunkie.
‘Where’s a duck?’ said Biddy, looking up.
‘N-o-o-o you idiot,’ he shouted. Nunkie grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the ground.
‘Ouch, what was that for?’ she said, trying to push him away.
‘Keep your head down,’ he said.
The noise started as low rumble. Despite Nunkie pushing her head into the ground, Biddy couldn’t help but sneak a look at the animal. Although the Bonnacon hadn’t moved, she could see that its rear end was vibrating like an overloaded washing machine. The noise grew louder and louder until the great beast seemed to rise into the air, and then, it let loose the loudest fart Biddy ever heard. She started to giggle, but then saw a ball of fire shoot out of its backside. She ducked as the flaming turd flew over her head. The smell made her eyes water. Two more flaming turds passed overhead, before the animal stopped to reposition itself. Pendek, who had started all this, was nowhere to be seen. The great beast’s back end shook and hummed like an old air-conditioning unit. It let rip again. This time they were pelted with several rounds of small, rapid-fire poos. The ground quickly became covered in flaming balls of excrement and the air filled with a foul smelling smoke. Thankfully, Bonnacon’s are not noted for their accuracy and all the missiles missed their target. The fiery beast, eventually, began to run out of wind. As soon as there was a lull in the fire, Nunkie told Biddy to run. This time, she didn’t hesitate.